


Free in the Stars

by FiKate



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Backstory, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Past Relationship(s), Pilots, Rebellion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 06:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11435361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate
Summary: Cassian's journey to becoming a pilot and realizing that his future doesn't lie in a squadron, while also searching for freedom and safety in the black.





	Free in the Stars

“The secret to happiness is freedom… and the secret to freedom is courage.” -Thucydides

Cassian peered towards the pilots as his father talked about where they were going next and important plans for justice, “Papa, can I fly?”

“When you’re older,” His father’s voice sounded tired, he didn’t think his Papa knew what he’d said. So much had to wait until he was older, firing a blaster instead of just throwing rocks.

“If I know how to fly, I can fly us somewhere safe and do more, Papa,” The galaxy was big, a planet out there had to be safe since home wasn’t.

“We’ll see, mijo,” He felt his father’s hand in his hair and leaned a little closer.

One of the pilots, the one who had smiled said, “I’ll teach you and then when you’re bigger, you’ll be able to do almost everything, Cassian.” 

“Yes, yes, I’ll be the best shot and a pilot and go wherever I’m needed to make everyone safe,” He hugged his father, they had a lot to do but when they were flying, they were safer and he’d learn.

**********

“Be gentle and listen to her, Cassian. The ship will tell you what’s working,” Alric said beside Cassian as he carefully used the throttle and felt the shuttle go where he told it to.

“Like that?” He could feel the thrum of the ship through him and smiled, he could do this and while he wasn’t tall enough to reach everything, he would be one day.

“Yes, and always look ahead, you never know what might appear,” Alric’s voice sounded heavier and Cassian dared a tiny glance at him before looking back over the planet’s hilly surface.

“I have to know what might be out there and what I’m not expecting,” That was how to be safe anywhere, in the sky, there were more places to search.

“Yes, that’s a good way to put it. Who taught you that?” 

“General Draven, he says when I’m older I might be a good operative, because I pay attention. Papa taught me to always keep looking and how to hide in a crowd, that’s how no one can find you unless you want them to,” And then on his own he’d started learning how to get out of trouble. He didn’t know if his father would be proud of him for learning how to pick locks and escape on his own, his father had trusted that justice was out in the galaxy and it was everyone’s job to make it a reality. General Draven knew that justice needed help to happen.

Beside him Alric was quiet in a way that meant he was thinking, Cassian was trying to learn the different kinds of silence. This was one he shouldn’t interrupt. When Alric finally spoke, he could hear kindness in it and Cassian didn’t know why, “If you’re a good enough pilot, General Merrick might take an interest when he’s around.”

*********

“Merrick got his hands on a sim,” Ian was yelling as he found Cassian in the kitchen, “You have to try it. It’s amazing, everything’s smooth and I have the highest score.”

“I need to get this in and then I will.” Ian laughed and turned, “Maybe you’ll be so good that Draven will let you be one of us.” 

Cassian didn’t dare look at up from his cooking, that was one of those hopes that was complicated. Draven told him that he could be one of the best operatives with his steady eye, creativity and gift for blending in, but he loved to fly. When he was flying, everything felt a little farther away, he knew that silly dream he’d had of a boy of finding someplace safe wouldn’t happen. He hadn’t even been able to keep his father safe when he’d died far away from him. The casserole was smelling right and he headed over to the sim everyone was crowded around with Merrick close by, but he could almost feel the eyes of the other leaders who weren’t far away. This was a way to judge the ability of their pilots and what they might be able to do. 

He stood a little straighter, he was still getting used to his new height as Pel spotted him and gave a wave, “Cassian, take a turn.” 

“That’s why I’m walking over,” Pel gave him one of her blinding smiles that made her blue skin almost shimmer and tugged his hand as Em got out of the sim. Carefully he sat in it, it looked like an X-wing and he took a deep breath, he could do this. He had good aim, quick reflexes though they didn’t seem to work as well when he was flying but he could. The sim responded fast and suddenly there was only the TIE fighters in front of him as he tried to not roll unless he meant it. It was like picking a lock, get in-between at the right place, aim, fire and then suddenly the roll was out of control. He stood up, shifting his hair to hide how stupid he felt and putting on his best friendly smile, “Show me how it’s done, Ian. I need to make sure dinner’s not burning.” 

Getting out was trickier and he almost tripped on his legs that felt too long but he did it and headed slowly back to the kitchen. Lilah found him with the scent of bacta hanging around her as he was staring at the oven, “That bad?” 

“I flamed out. I knew it would happen, I’m not like them,” He’d known that he wasn’t but he’d still had to try, it was an opportunity.

“You worried Pel, she likes you,” Lilah said and he could hear the impatience in her voice, she wanted him to do and not think as much.

“Even after that?” Pel would be better with someone who would be in a squadron when they were older, someone who would be there.

“Go talk to her after dinner.” 

“Fine, go wash up, you smell like bacta.” She laughed and messed up his hair. He didn’t know why she liked him so much, she knew the kind of work he was good at doing; lying and killing while she healed. Cassian knew if he said that aloud, she’d tell him that he cared and that mattered, some days he wasn’t sure if was enough.

**********

Cassian could hear the pilots drinking from his bunk with his leg up, the blaster bolt had hit near his knee and hurt a lot, but he’d been able to sneak out of the infirmary. He was alive and he knew that Draven respected him more because he’d finished the mission, gotten out without calling for help even though he was hurt. The songs got louder and he could make out that they were getting sadder which would fit, he’d heard how Ian and Em had died on their last mission. Maybe once he would have been drinking with them but he wasn’t one of them, he was a spy. Some metal clunked as Pel, her blue skin seeming dimmed as she crawled up beside him, she hadn’t done that since they’d been kind of together a few years ago, “Pel?”

“Just don’t talk, I’ve missed that,” As she said it and curled into him, he remembered that there had been something with her and Em. He could do that, he put his arm around her, at some point they both slept and she was gone in the morning. That was how it should be, it was his job to disappear into the shadows while she and all the starfighter pilots flew in the black and the blue, the proud face of the Rebel Alliance.

*******

“According to my calculations, this route contains too many risks,” Kay said as Cassian looked it over.

“Then find us a safer one,” He ran his hand through his hair, he didn’t like this mission, it seemed like there were too many ways for it to go wrong. At least Kay was with him, Kay trusted him and didn’t expect him to be a better pilot or person just himself. He didn’t completely understand all that he’d done when he reprogrammed Kay, but he was a good co-pilot.

“I should have calculated the route first then we would not be wasting time,” Kay said sternly and Cassian smiled as he finished the pre-flight check.

“Next time, you calculate and lower our odds,” And there would be a next time, having Kay made him feel a little safer.  
“I will and our missions will be efficient and successful,” Now Kay almost sounded smug and Cassian laughed as they lifted off.

********

He could feel Kay giving him a look but he wasn’t going to say anything, Kay talking wouldn’t help. They were going back to Yavin 4 and then Jyn, Bodhi, Baze and Chirrut would do what they wanted to which was leave. There would be a briefing that probably wouldn’t resolve anything but he’d tell Draven and the Council what they needed to know. He had a possible plan if nothing came through, he might find some allies if there was a mission. If he just kept flying then he could find a course to stop the Death Star and if he stared at the stars hard enough, the look of betrayal in Jyn’s eyes would get out of his head. At least she was angry again, she had her own course, that mattered.

Cassian hadn’t expected Jyn to be in the cockpit with them, but it felt right having her there as Bodhi and Kay piloted. Bodhi was their pilot, he’d given them a name while Jyn gave a mission.


End file.
